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Sweet compliment; thinking about my work.
Jun. 23rd, 2009 09:17 pmI just received the sweetest message from my pal Robin-- at Gender Euphoria in Vancouver, there was a Heroes wall-- and someone had posted my name on it.
Thanks for letting me know, Robin. That made my day.
I'm thinking back to the work that I did for trans folks, Arabs, Muslims, and folks of color. Mostly in the 90s, mostly through True Spirit, with some also through Bint el Nas and El Fatiha. It's funny, I've never really able to give myself credit for the work I did. It was always so clear to me what I wasn't doing-- that other people were doing so much more then I was-- and that there was so much work going undone. I never felt that I was doing enough.
But it was difficult work. Probably not a lot in terms of the number of hours, but a lot in terms of difficulty. I did a lot of first things-- to my knowledge, I set up and moderated the first listserve for trans folks of color-- was the first contact person/ hub for trans Arabs and Muslims-- organized events for trans folks of color at True Spirit for some years. To my knowledge, the first English-language erotica featuring an Arab ftm and a Muslim lesbian. Firsts are always hard; and these were really hard. It was damn well terrifying to be listed online as a contact for trans Muslims-- I was quite aware of the folks who've been harassed and murdered for similar things. It was really hard moderating the listserve and organizing the events-- I was seldom thanked, and often criticized-- I quit at the point that I was frustrated to the point of anger with the people I was trying to serve. I removed my online writings after the hateful emails and threats that followed 911.
There were some people who said thank you. The award True Spirit gave me-- that I wasn't there to receive, because I was dealing with a crisis with day care. The lovely art that Mary and Nida gave me, in thanks for my work on Bint el Nas. Emails from women and trans folks in the Arab world thanking me for being visible. The court case that I helped to win-- asylum for a trans man from a small Lebanese village. I was always deeply moved to hear that my work mattered, that it helped. That the frustration and fear were worth something.
I'm still moved. I'm really really glad.
xoxo
Nabil
Thanks for letting me know, Robin. That made my day.
I'm thinking back to the work that I did for trans folks, Arabs, Muslims, and folks of color. Mostly in the 90s, mostly through True Spirit, with some also through Bint el Nas and El Fatiha. It's funny, I've never really able to give myself credit for the work I did. It was always so clear to me what I wasn't doing-- that other people were doing so much more then I was-- and that there was so much work going undone. I never felt that I was doing enough.
But it was difficult work. Probably not a lot in terms of the number of hours, but a lot in terms of difficulty. I did a lot of first things-- to my knowledge, I set up and moderated the first listserve for trans folks of color-- was the first contact person/ hub for trans Arabs and Muslims-- organized events for trans folks of color at True Spirit for some years. To my knowledge, the first English-language erotica featuring an Arab ftm and a Muslim lesbian. Firsts are always hard; and these were really hard. It was damn well terrifying to be listed online as a contact for trans Muslims-- I was quite aware of the folks who've been harassed and murdered for similar things. It was really hard moderating the listserve and organizing the events-- I was seldom thanked, and often criticized-- I quit at the point that I was frustrated to the point of anger with the people I was trying to serve. I removed my online writings after the hateful emails and threats that followed 911.
There were some people who said thank you. The award True Spirit gave me-- that I wasn't there to receive, because I was dealing with a crisis with day care. The lovely art that Mary and Nida gave me, in thanks for my work on Bint el Nas. Emails from women and trans folks in the Arab world thanking me for being visible. The court case that I helped to win-- asylum for a trans man from a small Lebanese village. I was always deeply moved to hear that my work mattered, that it helped. That the frustration and fear were worth something.
I'm still moved. I'm really really glad.
xoxo
Nabil