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+ seeing my Theo on friday, for snuggling and talking and watching of torchwood. it was so good to see you! i adore you and have missed you! i know that things are rough now, and sf isn't where you want to be, but i still think you're doing better then before you went to seattle-- you seem more balanced, and confident, and sure of yourself and what you want. something about your life, or testosterone, is agreeing with you. and yay for the broadest shoulders evar!
+ coding. my beta account for google apps development has come through, and i've started in on my next project-- i want to make a web app for a simple experience sampling method questionnaire (as used in the research behind the books _flow_ and _finding flow) so that folks can identify what kinds of activity make them most involved and most in flow. mostly because i want to do it for myself. :) yesterday i spent a few hours noodling around with the system, walking through google's tutorial and downloading one of their sample apps and starting to play with it. it's fun to reverse-engineer a system and figure out how to tweak & modify it to do what i want. yay playing with code!
+ i'm liking my work right now. i'm having fun contracting for, mostly because i love love love my sponsor there brianna, omg she is so smart and awesome and ethical and yay! i love working for her! the work itself is a bit dull-- i would like to be doing more technical work, that's partly why i'm geeking out in my spare time at home-- but i do have a certain percentage of solving puzzles, and it is cool to work with a clever ambitious ethical woman in tech.
+ i finally read some of the crap that had been posted about me during wiscon, and it is less vile then i had thought it would be. (i was avoiding reading it while i was sick and upset, figured it was good to calm down and be sturdier before i took a look.) truth to tell, i have been trashed so much more creatively and personally by other trans folks! i'm reminded a bit of the scene in roxanne, where somebody says "you have a big nose" to steve martin, and he says "the universe offers you this material and all you can come up with is you have a big nose?" and spends ten minutes dancing around coming up with creative insults for his own nose. it turns out the sa trolls are not very creative or good writers.
+ another interesting surprise about reading the sa stuff-- one of the things rm said about me is something that i think all the time about myself, that it's unfair for me to ask people to call me "he" given that i look, act, and sound like a woman. i always thought that was a pretty mainstream belief. if the only folks willing to say it out loud at this point are people who also like making fun of fat folks, folks in wheelchairs, and random 9-year olds-- well, wow. perhaps that sentiment is less mainstream then i realized. perhaps the us has come further along on transphobia then i thought. i will be thinking about this quite a bit more.
xoxo
nabil
+ coding. my beta account for google apps development has come through, and i've started in on my next project-- i want to make a web app for a simple experience sampling method questionnaire (as used in the research behind the books _flow_ and _finding flow) so that folks can identify what kinds of activity make them most involved and most in flow. mostly because i want to do it for myself. :) yesterday i spent a few hours noodling around with the system, walking through google's tutorial and downloading one of their sample apps and starting to play with it. it's fun to reverse-engineer a system and figure out how to tweak & modify it to do what i want. yay playing with code!
+ i'm liking my work right now. i'm having fun contracting for
+ i finally read some of the crap that had been posted about me during wiscon, and it is less vile then i had thought it would be. (i was avoiding reading it while i was sick and upset, figured it was good to calm down and be sturdier before i took a look.) truth to tell, i have been trashed so much more creatively and personally by other trans folks! i'm reminded a bit of the scene in roxanne, where somebody says "you have a big nose" to steve martin, and he says "the universe offers you this material and all you can come up with is you have a big nose?" and spends ten minutes dancing around coming up with creative insults for his own nose. it turns out the sa trolls are not very creative or good writers.
+ another interesting surprise about reading the sa stuff-- one of the things rm said about me is something that i think all the time about myself, that it's unfair for me to ask people to call me "he" given that i look, act, and sound like a woman. i always thought that was a pretty mainstream belief. if the only folks willing to say it out loud at this point are people who also like making fun of fat folks, folks in wheelchairs, and random 9-year olds-- well, wow. perhaps that sentiment is less mainstream then i realized. perhaps the us has come further along on transphobia then i thought. i will be thinking about this quite a bit more.
xoxo
nabil