Got any gender-related questions for me?

[nabil]

Hi kittens,

Life is calming down enough that I'm starting to think about writing
again. My friend Sarah recently asked me to write up something for
her website on androgyny, and I'm not really sure what to start, so
I've got a favor to ask. Do you have any questions for me about (my)
gender? Anything you've wanted to ask, but it never quite seemed like
the right time? I'm not entirely sure how to make it possible to
respond to this email anonymously, but I'm going to try to figure it
out, just in case you're feeling shy.

xoxo & thanks,

Nabil

Comments

[frankiejlh.livejournal.com]

I *never* tire of talking about gender and androgyny. Hooray. Most of these are inspired by my own ponderings on the same subjects; some by stuff you've said in lj in the past.

-How would you describe your current gender to others, and does the description vary according to who you're talking to? If so, how and why?
-When you're alone and have no need to describe yourself to others, would you say that you have *a* gender, several genders, no gender or something else? Do you reflexively describe yourself to yourself this way? Why/why not?
-If the description varies between contexts, do you think this messes with your head? If so, how? If not, is this because you have taken steps to prevent that? What are they?
-How are you gendered at work? What do you think about that? Do you think it would ever be possible for you to earn a living without gender edits, if you use any? If so, would the effort be worthwhile to you?
-Do you feel like your internal sense of your gender has changed over time? If so, how?
-How do your faith, faith community if any, and your gender interrelate?
-How would/do you feel about physical transition (not to living as a man, necessarily, but any kind of physical transition/body modification that largely alters your interactions with the world or your mind's eye) a) in a utopian dreamscape and b) here and now?
-Have others (be they writers, friends, activists, math teachers, whatever) informed your ideas and decisions about gender; who are they?

Disclaimers:
-No judgment is implied in any questions.
-I'm not anticipating answers to any or all, but look forward to reading whatever you wind up writing.
-I know you've addressed some of these things in lj before, but here they are anyway in case your thoughts have changed since then.
-I can probably think up about 25 more of these if you want :)

[nadyalec.livejournal.com]

wow! thanks for the questions! i'm appreciative, impressed, and more then a bit intimidated-- i think i lack bandwidth to get into this level of gender discussion at the moment, but i will totally keep these questions in mind for the future! i was expecting/ hoping for some of the more 101 level questions-- why do you want me to call you he, what's your sexual orientation, etc. but yay you! and i would be totally thrilled to hear your answers to any of these questions!

xoxo

nabil

[frankiejlh.livejournal.com]

Ah! I pictured something different, I think, as the venue of your essay, like Let's Ponder Gender as opp. to something with a 101 which might introduce others to the concept and how it's lived out by people?
::ponder::
...I find it amusing that coming up with questions for this is so much harder. The fishbowl of transhood, it is actually a large, several-hundred-gallon tank.

A bit of the above could be distilled to a version of "why do you want me to call you he"; something like: Do you feel like a man (/are you a man), or is there another reason you prefer male pronouns?

I would be equally thrilled to give you all kinds of answers to these questions, but I think I'll save that for when we hang out in person, because I am less socially awkward when I have preconcieved things to talk about ;).

[sprig5.livejournal.com]

all of frankiejlh's Qs, plus: how has your sense of a gendered self changed since your childhood? that oughtta keep you busy! ;)

[nadyalec.livejournal.com]

hey thanks! i think these questions are a bit too hard for me right now-- i'm still scattered, not ready for a dissertation-- but i appreciate them!

Fyi, I never figured out who you are. wanna write me an email with your name in it? my lj name at gmail will reach me.

xoxo

nabil

[deegenerate.livejournal.com]

I swear I'm not being a smart ass with this question. It is actually something that has always puzzled me.

Why are concepts such as gender and sexuality so important? They are things I almost never think about myself nor do usually even consider it when dealing with others.

[nadyalec.livejournal.com]

Great question! I don't know. I wish they weren't.

I wish I didn't care, but when somebody seems to think I'm a different gender or orientation then I am, it's frustrating sort of like lying, sort of like having them say something mean.